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We’re pissed off because whether or not we want to believe it, we think about women the second we wake up until the second we go to sleep. This goes out to those of you who get upset at your mom because she’s waking you up to go to work every morning. You’re 45 years old, of course you know how to take the trip up the stairs from your mothers basement… right? We empathize with those of you who sit at your desk all day and wish you could just cruise on a yacht like Jordan Belfort in the Wolf of Wall Street escorting beautiful women on a velvet red rug to your throne of prestige. And we can’t forget about those broke starving college guys wishing they could afford to take a girl out to half-off apps at applebees but if she dares to buy a drink you’ll be washing dishes for the rest of the night. But don’t worry, you’re graduating soon (shout-out to Devry class of January)! The reason we are pissed is because women control our God damn minds and we don’t know how, why, and where it happened. We just know that today’s lunch break will consist of tinder (always swipe right no matter what, that increases your odds), thanks ladies.

Yep, like they always say, Can’t Live With Them and You Can’t Live Without Them. It’s true though, we always say that we believe that women run the world. They’re the reason wars get started, music gets made, and products get purchased. Yes, as men, we do need to survive. And yes, as straight men, we do care about what women think of us. We stress ourselves out to get an education, to get a job, to get money, to buy things to make us appealing to women, and then we buy things to make women happy. All of our insecurities develop because of women, even the idea of them out there. Therefore, when we’re getting money, we’re trying to get and keep women. And that’s why women piss us off.

Our solution, find some damn hobbies so you can think about the next Yu-Gi-Oh convention for at least an hour a day. And yeah, get a real job, you’ll find a woman a little easier if you get one of those. Lastly, find a woman you’re freakin’ compatible with, thinking about her all day won’t bother you much. And remember, the woman doesn’t make the man, YOU make the man you are. And LADIES, the same goes for you too. Love goes both ways and don’t be afraid to focus on yourself. Try to find what you can bring to the world, not just to your man.

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